The adoption update

We started the adoption process in November, and I had hopes that it would be quick and painless, but it has been a bit of a pain. Jon has just been doing silly things. First he called my lawyer in January to ask him when the court date was. My lawyer was like, "Uh...There is no court date yet because you haven't signed and returned the papers yet." Then he told my lawyer that he had signed and returned the papers....but, you know, my lawyer never received them.. Then he told my lawyer that if I would just call him and let him know that this is really what I want, then he will sign the papers. Uh, didn't you just say you already signed the papers and sent them back? And, seriously, would I hire a lawyer to send those papers if it weren't what I really wanted? So, I called him from our computer and left a voice mail. I let him know that it is what I really wanted etc... We heard nothing more.

Later on, we went to the lawyer's office to sign a bunch of things for the adoption, and the lawyer said he would try contacting him again before having him served. Basically, since he has had no contact with the kids we can ask for the adoption based on abandonment. This would cost more, so we have been dragging our feet a little. hoping he will finally sign the papers, and we can go through with it with a little less hassle and less money. Well, the attorney's assistant called me this week as she had just talked to Jon. He gave her a whole song and dance about how I have been calling from a restricted number and he can't really talk to me, and how I left without a trace and he hasn't been able to have contact with me or my kids, and how he has phone records to prove that he has called my parents and my parents won't talk to him or let him talk to me. (Whatever!) He told her that in the beginning, he just signed them since it is what I wanted and he figured he didn't want to stir up trouble (Whatever!) and then he had second thoughts, and since I won't even talk to him about it (Yeah, ok dude! Answer your phone!) he doesn't think he wants to sign the papers because after all, this is his kid, and he doesn't even know my husband! (OK Double whatever!) He always denies Jakob is his....he only mentions Kristina. That drives me nuts, and makes me feel so protective over my little guy!!! I pray he never knows that his father out and out denies he is even his. Anyway....back to his crap....He told her that he was going to get a lawyer now and fight for his rights to see her (Uh, you have TWO chidren!!)

So I explained to my lawyers assistant that Jon knew exactly where I lived for 3 1/2 years. I was instructed by my lawyer in Cedar Rapids not to speak to him in person or on the phone because he could record things and then lawyers have a way of twisting things you say. She said to contact him in writing asking him to contact you back in writing or through her....This is what I did shortly after I left him. I did move after 3 1/2 years, yes, without telling him, but we were no longer communicating, and it isn't like I snuck away. If he truly wanted to find me, it wouldn't have taken much. He also knew where I worked all those years.....even had my desk phone number. Also my parents had experience quite a few hang up calls right after the adoption papers were sent, so if this is what he is using for his phone records showing he tried to contact them and they would not talk to him, I think it will look really strange that no call lasted longer than a minute.

So, I talked to Lance and we decided to call him one more time.....and Lance recorded the call this time. I let him know I was calling based on him wanting to know that I was in a good place in my life (forgot to mention this above) and wanting to know who my husband was and had my husband on the phone with me so he can ask him whatever he wanted. He never even said one word to Lance the whole time! Jon was super duper nice of course (Lance even wrote on a piece of paper "Wow! He really is a salesman! Ha ha!")....Gave me this whole sob story about how Jessica, his first daughter, found him and then she found out from her mother that the adoption was his idea and now she won't even talk to him. The way he said it too sounded like he was trying to deny that the adoption was his idea, stating that "She claims...."....So, anyway, he is afraid that that will happen if Kristina ever found him. UGH! First off, Jessica has nothing to do with our situation. Second, it WAS his idea for the adoption and he even PAID for the adoption so that he wouldn't have to pay child support anymore.....I didn't say this to him of course. I just let him know the truth...that I don't tell the children anything bad about him because this would hurt THEM. He was relieved to hear that and now is going to sign the papers. I don't think I'm going to hold my breath. We are only giving him two weeks to sign them, and then we will take further action if we have still not received them.

Needless to say, I can't wait until this is all over!!